Who are You Trying to Fool?

I was reminded recently of a past experience I once had at a Forever 21, which relates to a larger more general topic… middle aged women who dress like their teenage daughters. I was once trying on clothes behind the not so private fabric curtain of a Forever 21 stall when I overheard the conversation on a pair of women I would have to peg between the ages of 40 and 45. They were discussing the “cuteness” of their outfits and how they would look cute on their daughters. The problem being, they were not trying on clothes for their daughters but for themselves. I stepped out of my curtain in my cute baby doll shirt and the jeans I came in with to find them there in their glorious bake-bakes glory. wearing sheer tops with sun spotted boobs peaking out of the top. In short skirts and impractical shoes with trendy purses and wrist bangles and lord knows what else, at certain point I had to avert my eyes to avoid permanent brain damage.

I will admit what these women weren’t unattractive, they had relatively good figures, even of they were covered in sun soaked alligator pelts and obviously bleached blonde hair.  And while “technically” speaking they had the ability to pull off the clothing they were trying on, that is certainly no excuse too. It’s like saying an orthodontist is “technically” a doctor… it doesn’t mean he should remove your appendix (no offense to orthodontists… there are plenty of people out there with messed up teeth who must truly appreciate your contributions to society).  I suppose the phenomenon confuses me because I find myself wondering who these women are trying to fool.  Do they dress like this because they want their tween daughters to thing they are “super cool!” Or is it because they are working on ex-husband #2 and they’re trying out their new cougar claws?  Or is it because they need to fool themselves into thinking they are still 21, or that they look like they did twenty some years, 3 kids, 10 censuses, and 5 summer Olympics ago?  At the end of the day I think dressing like someone half your age doesn’t make you cool or trendy or young… it just makes you look like you’re trying to hard, or stuck in your hay-day, like the 40 year old quarterback of the high school football team who still wears his letter-man jacket to work at the landfill every day. And while those clothes are cute and flirty and trendy on your daughters… they just make you look slutty.

What I’m trying to say is, it’s just a name, you can’t actually be… Forever 21.