Drive it… Like You Mean it.

I will be the first to admit that I am an impatient driver,with a need for speed and the only prescription is more cowbell! Alright… now that the video link fun is over, back on topic.  My motto behind the wheel is “drive it like you mean it.” Which basically means: pay attention to what you’re doing, at least go the speed limit, they invented turn signals for a reason… and if all else fails just get the hell out of my way. And this isn’t a new development, I wrote my 10th grade high school research paper on the risk associated with senior drivers. Not that all bad drivers are seniors but let’s be honest, quite a few are.  You know the type: the little old lady driving a huge Crown Vic ahead of you in the left turn lane who moves at 2mph her whole way around the corner. For you it feels like a slow painful eternity… but her, she’s pulling 5 G’s.

I understand that in certain driving situations reducing your speed is safe and even necessary: a torrential down pour, debris in the road, a broken traffic light, slow children playing… etc.  A ninety degree turn, however, should not be cause for alarm or a severe hindrance to you in any way.  As far as I know roads have ALWAYS had turns and intersections but for some they still appear a scary unknown thing for which extreme caution is warranted.  I’m not expecting checkered flag off the line in the turn lane but when you move so slowly that me… the person right behind you sees the light turn yellow  while still stranded behind you in the middle of the intersection, we have a problem. And I am more than certain that the people who designed that intersection intended for the sake of traffic flow for far more than just you to make it through the light.  Which brings up another annoying aside: The guy who falls asleep at the light and finally goes through just as it turns yellow leaving everyone else stranded behind him through another cycle… that guy… don’t get me started on him.

For me these types of offenses are even worse when I eventually pull up alongside the perpetrator (which is easy because they are going 5-10 under the speed limit) and discover that they are not an 80 year old woman… but someone about my age (mid twenties).  Or worse, the person is driving a high performance sports car with no clue how to drive it to the fullest of it’s potential, or how to perform remedial tasks for that matter.  I don’t get what it is and the way people drive these day drifting in and out of lanes falling asleep at lights and moving in slow motion I have to wonder if they are all drugged up Prozac/Valium zombies, and if they function like that in a car, how messed up is the rest of their life?  These are the types of people that spark within me the desire to use my favorite driving offense, some might call it “tailgating” but I prefer the term “persuasive intimidation. ” I’m sure someday this will get me into trouble, but for now I will continue to ride in your back seat… if it’s moving at 2mph. Patience is not a virtue I have ever possessed, just ask my husband.