Three and Out

I’ve been seeing more and more photo albums pop up on people Facebook pages in the weeks since Halloween and there is a growing phenomenon which continues to bother me.  Halloween is all about costumes, the scary ones, the creepy ones, the slutty ones, the funny and or really clever ones… they’re all good.  Sometimes even the last-minute ones can be the most inventive and at least show a little bit of thought and effort.  You know the kind: the guy who shows up wearing a hefty bag because he’s “white trash”. The definition of a costume is dress or garb characteristic of another period, place, person, etc.

That being said there are certain last-minute effortless costumes that bother me. The kind that you might as well not even bother with. There is always the girl who puts on some leggings and basically all of the ugly colorful things she owns and is a generic 80’s montage of a person… cop-out.  And there is the guy who wears a wife beater and jeans and says he’s a redneck… it’s not a costume if it’s your real life buddy. But the one I have been seeing all over the place that really aggravates me is girls wearing football jerseys and jeans with maybe some team colored ribbons in their hair or some black smudges under their eyes if you’re lucky.  What are you supposed to be? A sports fan? Because if you owned that jersey already you are a fan… so it’s not a costume it’s… what you wear on Sundays. A football player? I’m going to at least need some spandex pants to go with or maybe you could cleverly fashion some kind of pads? You know… try a little.

Oh I know! If it’s an Aaron Rogers jersey you might be going as me for Halloween.  Now that’s a clever costume.  So dear 20 something girls, if that’s the best you can do, don’t even bother next time.  Or do us all a favor and make a $20 trip to the local Party City and buy… ANYTHING!

Team Spirit

So, football season has officially arrived and being the awesome wife that I am I have been watching football all day.  And I’m actually one of those women who likes football, I know the players I can have an intelligent conversation about the teams, I play fantasy football… I ACTUALLY like football.  Unfortunately a lot of girls seem to pretend to like football. I suppose for some it’s the only way they can hang out with their boyfriends or husbands on Sundays, Monday nights and the occasional Thursday between mid September and early February.  But it seems like some girls pretend to like football because “the guys think it’s hot.” And I freaking hate it when girls play those games.  And without fail they always root for the team their boyfriend/husband likes. Or the worst of all, they still root for the team their Daddy rooted for, because they don’t have enough available brain cells to make their own choice. Sadly I don’t think they even realize they are being ridiculous.

I can just imagine it now:  a girl wearing a pink Tom Brady jersey (because he’s like… SUPER HOT!) sits in a Buffalo Wild Wings with her boyfriend, drinking an appletini and talking about her favorite receiver, “you know the black guy… what’s his name? Oh yeah Adrian Fitzgerald from the San Diego Giants.” You should not be able to root for any team without knowing at least 3 players on the aforementioned team, at least know what their colors are, and be able to tell someone what city they play in (bonus points if you can also name the state that city resides in).  And for the record on the topic of your favorite teams color: whatever it may be, I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is not now, nor has it ever been… baby pink.  So unless it’s October (Breast Cancer Awareness Month), you actually are a baby, or you have accidentally washed your white jersey with a red sock, throw away your pink jerseys.  Football and pastels just simply should never mix, I hate it when girls try to fem up every single thing in the world. It’s a sport where big sweaty dudes smash into each other, people scream, drink beer and wave Terrible Towels… Oh God! They don’t make pink Terrible Towels do they?